That is one of the reasons I participated in the Ottawa's Motorcycle Ride for Dad event. And I say one of the reasons because it would be quite dishonest of me to try and convince you that was the only one. I have to admit I was really looking forward to the ride, and the riders, and seeing all the bikes, and partaking in all that the Ride involves.
The $300 I managed to raise from sponsors was totally for my love of healthy prostates, however. My friend Andy and I raised close to $500 together, which I think is pretty decent, and which I hope will help researchers find a cure. So I'd like to officially send a BIG thank you to all of you who contributed, and apologize if I guilt tripped you into it. No scratch that. I'll stick with the thanks :) I also owe a HUGE thanks to Dan for totally stealing my donation sign up sheet and collecting over $100 on my behalf. AND donating of his own on top of that. Dan, you da best. After me. I mean. Yeah, you totally rock. Whenever they start the Sexy Prelude Ride for Prostate Cancer, I'll be sure to return the favour.
For any of you who have a prostate or know someone who does, or did, you can donate online here.
Ok, I'll stop talking prostates soon enough, but there is a bit more in there somewhere that I just have to write about, so bear with me.
So we're hoping for nice weather on Saturday, obviously, because riding in the rain isn't quite as fun as riding in the sun. The first part of the ride is a big procession of bikes going through downtown at crawling speed, just so everyone gets to see us and grow really annoyed at all the blocked streets. We were to meet up at the National Aviation Museum and from there all the riders took off in a double line procession running through downtown and all the way to the first halt in the Carp area. For the road map, click here. Start time: 8h50 SHARP.
Or so it said on the paper.
So Saturday morning, 6h30, Andy and I are looking at the downpour out the window and hoping it'll stop, even though it really doesn't seem like it will. And this wasn't a drizzle, either. I'm talking freakin buckets of water coming down. I wouldn't ride the motorcycle in that, let alone walk out the front door for fear of one of those massive raindrops connecting with my skull and making my brain explode. But of course we don't want to miss the Ride, so we do the only thing we can - decide to leave as late as possible without being late. Three coffees and a shower later, and BAM - the rain has stopped. Don't ask me how, but I did it again. Willed it away. Heh. Yeah, I'm that good.
15 minutes later, we're on the road (ok make that 17 minutes cause we had to go back for the camera). The sky is steel gray but the sun is shining through and we're pretty much feeling like a million bucks. Riding through almost deserted streets through Ottawa in the morning is pretty nice. As we got nearer to the starting point, we started seeing volunteers posted at every street corner, waving and giving us the thumbs up. How they knew we were going to take part in the Ride I have no idea, but my guess is they waved at every bike they saw. This was the big day, after all. As we got closer, I started seeing bikes coming from every direction. And I mean - bikes. Everywhwere. Murders of bikes, as Andy likes to call them, 20, 30, 50 strong. They're in front of us, in the back of us, all you can hear is bike engines roaring and the anticipation is so strong you can feel the electricity in the air. Had I not been wearing my helmet, my hair would probably have been a big freakin hissing electrified thing akin to that ball of lightnig we loved to play so much with at the museum as kids. It was cool.
So after going all around the museum, we are instructed to park in a line. People park behind us, and there's a sea of bikes all lined up, as far as the eye can see. Let me tell you, it was pretty impressive. And (devil me) I couldn't help but wish for someone to lean against one bike and start a domino slide...ok, bad bad Xtine. No. I didn't wish that. I just...giggled at the thought. Yeah. It was a pretty neat experience. I also discovered the joys of being a passenger on a bike after a rainstorm. Remember riding your bicycle in the rain, and how you got that wet and muddy line from your butt all the way to the top of your spine? Yeah ok, multiply bicycle power by what, 3 billion? Yeah. My butt was wet, and so was my braid. But hey. I'm a biker chick now apparently, so it's perfectly normal to have a mud skid mark on my back. Bonus for the hair.
So there's a stage there, and some people talking, but I'm busy looking around at bikes and people and outfits and stuff so I can't tell you much about it. I only recall one gentleman talking and that's cause he was funny, and here's the last bit of the prostate talk for ya. This gentleman was talking about this and that and then says: ''So I've been getting a lot of emails from you guys, and I really try to answer all of them, but in the meantime let me answer the most popular questions so you all get the answers right here''. Ok by then he had my attention. Here's what he said next.
"Prostate exams. A few tips. If the doctor has both hands on your shoulders while doing the exam, GET OUT OF THE ROOM.'' (laughter here, although nervous laughter, as far as I could tell, from the gentlemen present. Mine was a big heartfelt laugh. Go figure). ''Oh and one other thing - if the doctor asks you to make any sound at all, like animal sounds, that is NOT part of the exam''. (more laughter, definitely strained at this point. I'm still laughing my ass off. Go figure again). He did make me pretty happy I'm a woman and don't have a prostate, whatever it's for. Heh.
So after quite a bit of talking, we are asked to walk to our bikes and get ready to go. My 3 coffees are starting to swell up in my bladder by this point, but I don't feel like using the restroom when we're almost ready to go. So Andy says - yeah, but can you hold it in for 2 hours? Yeah. I can. No problem. So off we go to the Old Virago, and...wait. Who would have thought it takes so long to get 2000 bikes going double file? Yeah. Takes a while. But not to worry, we're still pretty excited, waiting to go, we can hear bikes roaring to life row by row, and by god we can't wait to get going. Eventually we do, and we're off!
We ended up being side by side with a Harley guy and his passenger. Now I'm a pretty easy going gal, and pretty accomodating as far as I know. But seriously, this guy got on my nerves. For one, he had the radio blasting 'Oldies 105' and the songs just kept repeating themselves. I'm not sure if his partner enjoyed the songs or just wanted to die, seeing as she was pounding her thighs with her fists to the beat of 'Love me Do'. Now I'm not sure what was up with that guy, but he obviously could not deal with the idea that we might be ahead of him. Even though the biker in front of him was closer to him than the biker in front of us, every time we sped up to catch up, he'd gun it and try to outrun us. Which is to say, he'd speed up as close as possible to the guy in front of him so that our front wheel did not go beyond his. Let me tell you, if he didn't have a backrest on there, that girl woulda been sitting, driver seat, on the bike behind within seconds. This was just brutal. I laughed at most of it, because I really didn't care. But it was just ridiculous. If that girl doesn't have whiplash today, I'm really surprised.
The really cool thing about the parade was that all cross streets were blocked off and we got to run red lights. Cops even waved us through those. And you wouldn't beleive the cars waiting in line to turn. It's not like there weren't signs, either. But I guess people just ignore those, because all you could see for miles were lines of cars with doors open and drivers out on the curb sheilding their eyes to try and see how long this line of motorcycle really is. Long, it was. And we just waved at them smiling. Hah! I do pity the joggers waiting to cross to get to the other side of the path. I mean you can only jog in place for so long before giving in and starting to wave. Yeah, everyone was having a grand time.
When we got to the first halt, most of the parade was already there. It was pretty cold, too, and although it wasn't raining, the sun had gone and hidden behind clouds, so that by the time we stopped I was freezing. All I could think of was the free coffee...and the porter potties. Yes, by that time, my 3 morning coffees and water had inflated my bladder to what felt like exploding proportions. So we made a beeline for the potties.
Ok. 2000 bikes means approximately what, 2500 riders? Add volunteers, gawkers and police officers, and you got roughly 3000 people in one spot, gunning for coffee and potties. All 10 of them. Yes. You read that right. 10 potties for 3000 full bladders. Ouch. By the time I got halfway up the lineup, I was looking for nearby bushes. Better still, I was trying to convince all the male prostate wearing people to head for the woods and let me through. Seriously, by the time I actually got to a free one, I didn't even feel like I had to pee anymore. I cursed for not buying depends, but in the end all was well. I did my business and walked out about a thousand pounds lighter.
We headed for coffee and the poker run table. Oh, I didn't mention the poker run. We got to draw a card when we registered, and we got to draw one at every halt after that. You collect 5 cards and make the best hand out of it. With my luck, my first card was a 2 of spades. Never fear, I was gunning for 4 of a kind, or a full house. Jacks full of deuce. So all excited about the first poker halt, I drew...a six of clubs. Not great, but hey, not bad. I still had a straight shot. After coffee and a smoke, we were about to set off when I spotted Paul, a guy I work with, and an avid biker. So we stopped and said hi, chatted a bit, then walked to the Virago and set off.
Now the rest of the run is free for all. Meaning that everyone is going towards the same spot, but we're not following each other anymore in a parade kindof way. So for the first half of this run, we were pretty much on our own, still waving at the many (surprisingly many) people on the side of the road or sitting on their lawn waving Ride for Dad flags at us. Oh I should mention that we had 2 said flags, but ended up losing them somewhere around Waba. I was supposed to keep an eye on their steadiness, but I guess my brain froze and when I looked next they were gone. Man in the minivan behind us, if they hit your windsheild, I'm sorry. If you happened to catch one, I want it back. Thanks! :D
We eventually caught up to some riders and followed them. More riders caught up to us and followed us. And so we pulled in to the second halt in the middle of a 40 or so murder of bikes.
There were hamburgers and hot dogs to be had there, and so we had them because we were pretty hungry. We got another card (9 of hearts - wtf), tried to warm up a bit (sun was still hiding) and got on our way pretty quickly. By this time, my reynold's fingers are tingling all the way up to my elbows. I can't feel half of my toes and all in all, I'm having a grand time.
So we set off again, and, of all wonders....the sun actually pops out. We go through hot and cold pockets, the scenery is breathtaking, and I can't beleive this wonderful and magical country is but an hour and a half from home. I had never been down that way but seriously folks, that is a really, really nice area. Fields, old welcoming farm houses, rivers and lakes, windy roads....so very poetic and rustic and homey. I forgot all about being cold, and just took all I could in before the next stop, which was lunch. MMmmmm.. Riding makes me hungry.
Lunch halt was nice simply because it was, finally, sunny and warm. We found a cool spot in the grass and just laid there for a while, warming up. I even took off my leather jacket and hoodie. Then we got some burgers and fruit, ate, and got the next poker card. Queen of spades. Finally a good card, but sweet fuck all for my run. Ah well. There's always next year. Andy at this point has two fives and whatever else though, so I'm still hoping he'll get a full house or something. After warming up, eating and going to the pottie again, we set off for the second to last run of the day. This one will take us to the final halt, and then there's the journey back home.
So we set off right behind some other folks, and some more soon join us in the back. This is where I finally remember I have a camera. Stupid me. I tap Andy on the shoulder and tell him I wanna get it out of the saddlebag, so he knows to lean to the left as I'm leaning to the right, half bent over the fast moving pavement, getting my camera out of the bag. We've done this before, so I'm pretty confident about not falling off. I'm less confident about not losing my gloves in the process, so I stick them under his butt. I get the camera out and start shooting, then realize the battery's about to go dead. Stupid dumb luck. Anyway, I tried to get as much of the murder and scenery as I could, so I hope this gives you an idea of how really cool this ride was. If you've ever been on the back of a bike and tried to snap good pictures as you're winding around scenic roads, without making your driver want to kill you, you might have a little appreciation for my sense of balance. Enjoy.
First pic of the day. Starting point, sea of bikes.
Same, from a different angle.
Andy and the bikes, before we set off.
Lunch halt - after half the bikes are gone. I never remember the camera.
Run to the last halt - this and the next few are just shots of the 'murder'.
Andy and I - In a rearview mirror.
Yup, I guess this is where we're turning :)
And, well, me and the Old Virago. Or I should say the Old Virago and I. Not the best picture, but this is after the last stop...I'm a bit tired. So is she. :)
Other things of note - we saw a rider down, it was sad. I think he/she is allright, we're still not sure what gender he/she was. Other than that, I didn't win the poker run (big surprise) but Andy almost got 5 5's. Which I think is cheating, but whatever. He didn't get them, so we just rode back.
And now my fingers are tired. Take care of your prostate, or prostate bearing friends. Be good, be safe...be all that you can be :)
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